Macbeth Blogging

1. Do you feel sorry for Lady Macbeth? Why or why not?

In the beginning of the play, I truly hated Lady Macbeth with passion. She seemed so evil, calling all the dark spirits to enter her and insisting on killing Duncan. I think the words she spoke were very influential on making me think that way. It was also Macbeth’s reaction to this situation that made her seem like the bad one. Because Macbeth was portrayed as a coward who was confused and unsure of what to do, Lady Macbeth in contrast was portrayed as the overpowering, evil force. Although Macbeth too committed the crime, I considered Lady Macbeth more evil because she did not even have doubts. However, the fact that she was such a strong character in the beginning, but that she has been destroyed in the end made me feel bad. I think it is because Lady Macbeth was so evil in the beginning that made me feel sorry for her when she had ultimately been destroyed by her own guilt. I think that when a person commits a big crime and suffers from it, it causes people to feel a stronger sorrow for them. Reading how Lady Macbeth suffers physically and mentally adds to this sorrow of mine. We have only read that Macbeth loses sleep because of the murders and the unfinished business. However, we see that Lady Macbeth suffers more than just losing sleep. Her guilt has become so big of a burden that even though she tries to cleanse herself of the sin, it is too big for her to handle. I think I feel sorry for Lady Macbeth because I it is her guilt that ultimately kills her. Another major factor that makes me feel bad for Lady Macbeth is that, it is the guilt of being part of a big murder that haunts her. Even though she did not physically murder Duncan and although she had nothing to do with the murder of Macduff’s family, because she was a part of it somehow, she felt the guilt. This guilt of knowing a harmful secret, or having a part in a murder is greater than the murder itself. Therefore, because Lady Macbeth has not done anything directly wrong, but still suffers, I definitely feel bad for her.

2. What do you think about the character of Macbeth? Was he a good guy before he met the witches, or do his actions imply that he was always capable of dark deeds? Is he to blame for his actions, or are the witches really to blame?

This question is a bit hard for me to answer. I think the more I am exposed to Macbeth’s characterization, I become more confused about what kind of character Macbeth is. Even though we would like to think that witches are the evil ones who made Macbeth the murderer he is. Also, people might also blame Lady Macbeth’s initial persistence in murdering Duncan to become King. However, I find that Macbeth himself is the one to blame, not the witches or Lady Macbeth. In life, no matter what comments or influence we get, the final choice is up to us. We make the finial decision whether to take that advice or warning, or to disregard those and live how we originally planned to live life. After finishing this play, I think my sudden response was that “Wow, Macbeth is evil; he’s out of control…” However, I decided to think of him more as a humane character that we might be able to relate to. Even though murder is indeed a bad deed, I was thinking, perhaps as humans, we can be influenced by what we hear. And so I think that when we are first motivated by others to commit a deed, we then tend to lose control. We cannot let ourselves get out of control.
On the other hand, seeing that Macbeth murdered more than enough people shows that maybe he was a bad person at heart. Maybe it was the witches who just pulled out that bad side of him.

3. Is there a personal incident in your life you wish could erase? Envision Lady Macbeth wringing her hands, unable to get the imaginary blood off of them. She is haunted by her participation in the grisly deed. Do you think her response is plausible? Do you think you would be consumed with guilt yourself if you found yourself wrapped up in such a heinous crime?

The only memory I have from my preschool life is the incident between me and my teacher. I remember that I used to really love my teacher. She was pretty, young and fun to be around. However, I think my love for her was too strong. All I remember is that it was winter, and the kids around me had mittens on. The teacher however did not have any one. So, I took my socks off, put them on my hands as puppets/mittens and rubbed my teacher’s face to make her warm. Little did I know that it was a disrespectful act. She saw that it was my socks and she immediately shouted at me and punished me. She made my hold my socks with my mouth and keeps my arms raised. I think this is one my childhood stories that I was really ashamed of at that time. Even though this is a childish example, it was the only one I could really remember, and also, at that time, for me I felt guilty and embarrassed. I don’t think I even told my mom about it.
However, I have matured and grown up, so the instances that I want to erase have changed. These days, I want to erase incidents where I have experienced a bad deed. Yes there were times when I have been guilty because of my actions, but for me, experiencing someone else’s guilt, and having to keep it a secret is really a burden.

If I was in Lady Macbeth’s situation, I would definitely react in a similar way. Even though Lady Macbeth did not personally murder the people, she was part of it. Like I mentioned before, this guilt of being part of something and not being able to say it creates a lot of guilt. Thus, I understand that she is haunted by the guilt which leads her to destruction.

4. Have you ever experienced a predicted dream? Has anyone ever suggested something about your future that has actually come true? Did their comments influence your actions and the results that followed?

I have experienced numerous predicted dreams. I didn’t have these dreams, but it is mostly my mom who has them. It is so scary how her dreams really come true.
Because older generations of Koreans believed in superstitions and dreams, I think my mom was heavily influenced. On New Year’s or on special days, my mom always asks me what I dreamt, but I never remember. The fact that my mom is so interested in dreams influences me. When she tells me something is going to happen, if it is a positive thing, I tend to want to make that prediction come true. I think I tend to act in a certain way that might bring about that prediction. I might not kill people to become King, but I think I would do something.
However, sometimes, there are times when I believe in the prediction too much that I do nothing to affect it. There are also times when I blame the prediction. For example, when my mom had a dream before the SAT test, she had a bad dream, and so when the results came out and were not good scores, I blamed my mom for telling me about that dream. I believed that since my future was predicted, I cannot do anything to change it. There are some times when I try to fit my conditions to my dreams. When my mom told me to come home early because she had bad dreams and thought that someone was going to get hurt, I came home that day and tell her that her dream was true because I got a bruise or a cut. HAHA. Overall, I think knowing something beforehand, even though it might not be true, definitely affects our actions in some way.

Poetry Blog #3

3. Think about hamartia: find one poem that displays a tragic flaw in human nature (either human nature in general or in one human, as expressed in the poem.) Write about whether or not the poem’s message is enhanced for you, as a reader, as you contemplate hamartia as it relates to the text

I chose the poem ‘In the Secular Night.’ This poem displays a tragic flaw in the speaker. The title and the first stanza of the poem introduce the reason for the speaker’s fall. The line, ‘alone in your house. It’s two-thirty, everyone has deserted you,’ shows that the speaker is lonely. Rejecting the sacred, and seeking fulfillment from the world, leads to dissatisfaction, loneliness and emptiness. This flaw and downfall does not create redemption, but rather, puts it clear that the downfall stays the same. The last line ‘someone’s been run over. The century grinds on,’ shows that this is how the world, or the speaker’s life will be. Although forty years have passed since she first was lonely and deserted in her house, no change in her state of loneliness or the sacred has occurred. It seems that the speaker will have to live or ‘grind’ on in the secular night, or world.

Harmatia enhances the poem’s message for me because I can easily pick out or realize the poet’s message. I guess by being able to relate to the speaker makes it easier. As I read this poem, I feel a lot of sympathy for this speaker. Although it is a poem, if I was one of these people who were so lonely for more than 40 years, how different I would be. Eating meals alone, having complete silence surround me and then hearing sirens, only to find out an accident. For some reason the line, ‘you’d be surprised if you got an answer,’ really stood out and touched me. Maybe it’s just my nature of needing answers, but imagining how it feels to think that nothing is answering my words except my own words, is really painful. So, this tragic flaw of the speaker helps me see her flaw and fall easily and realize how ultimately, we must accept the sacred in order to feel most complete.

Poetry Blog #2

2. TPCASTT one poem and discover what it really says to you. Write about the poem and its theme, especially about how the poem’s message shed light on the universal human condition/experience

The poem I chose to TPCASTT was Emily Dickinson’s ‘I meant to have but modest needs.’ Poems carry messages the poet tries to deliver, but how the poem actually feels when you read it is different for each person because of reader response. We all have different experiences and thoughts of life. And I guess that’s why different poems reveal us in different ways.
When I was looking through the poetry packet and reading which poems I felt linked to, the speaker of this poem. The past few weeks have been a hectic time for all of us, so I felt these weeks were a time of disappointment that the speaker feels after the shift in the last stanza of the poem. This poem written in quatrains uses enjambment, caesura, alliteration, personification and other literary devices to explore the messages about the search for satisfaction through prayer and how we as humans misinterpret the way God answers our prayers. This central message is enhanced by the mood and tone of the poem. The first seven stanzas incorporate a calm, optimistic, reverent mood, while the last stanza (stanza eight) is a defensive, insecure and pessimistic one. This mood helped me see myself in this poem. I always see myself asking for things. Whether it is from my parents, myself, or God. Every time I pray for something, I seem so selfish, praying especially when I need something. Like the poem puts it, ‘And so, upon this wise I prayed,- Great Spirit, give to me.’ I don’t know if it is just me, but I feel like I am, metaphorically, using great words when I need something from God. And when the result turns out bad, I tend to misinterpret the answer to my prayers. It is quite inevitable in my life. Even last week or so, I had been praying for better SAT scores when I hadn’t really studied. And when the result was really disappointing, I became very pessimistic, and felt betrayed. Even though I knew that there was a purpose and that God didn’t betray me, the rush of disappointment really made me feel that way. As I live, each day, I need something to hold on to, or depend on, something really powerful, which is God. So when I am disappointed, I tend to first blame anything besides myself. When I am not in one of these states, I realize my flaw, but it’s really hard… not asking for more, and it’s even harder to accept rejection.
Therefore, I think this poem is really powerful in shedding light on the universal human condition/experience, of how we also seek more and how we tend to seek for positive results.

Poetry Blog #1

It is hard to pick one poet out of three very different and unique people. I seem to have a combination of all their lives? Margaret Atwood seems too feminist for me to say that i am most like her. However, there is a similarity in that i too must speak up for my beliefs. I may not be as strong a feminist as she is, but if there is a time when women are looked down upon, i too must actively defend the women's side.
Even though i am like Atwood in some aspects, i feel that i can relate the most with Emily dickinson and Sylvia Plath. From reading Emily dickinson's biography, i feel i too am a sensitive person who gets very personal. Although not a hermit, not has my mother been confined to her bed with me caring, i feel that i can relate to her sense of isolation. Although she has brothers and sisters, she seemed to have gone through a time of isolation from the society which i can relate too. Being an only child for me gave me the greatest feeling of isolation. When i was in Sweden, there were not many Korean kids around me. I used to feel so 'out of place' that as a kid, i went through a time of a bit of depression? I would feel like the monkey in a zoo because wherever i went, i would be starred at. When i was in first grade, one girl in my class would tell me to always
'go back to your country.' Her words really hurt me even though we were young. i felt the need and desire to isolate myself from their culture and their society. I guess reading about Emily dickinson's life as well as Sylvia Plath's life made me think back to my days of darkness.
According to a biography of Sylvia Plath, it says "Thus, even then, Plath was expressing her antithetical attitudes toward existence, embracing life and rejecting it simultaneously." After i read this i could totally relate to this. There are so many times when i find myself very capricious? One day embracing life and then the next day rejecting it. This is so common as i survive each day of high school ! And that is why i feel i am most like Emily dickinson and Sylvia Plath.

In the Skin of a Lion Question #3

#3)
Even though I have already talked about Patrick a lot, I think it is worth it to mention him again.

Patrick definitely has a tragic flaw that is an issue to his downfall. Evidently, Patrick’s tragic flaw is his incapability of grabbling with his grief. It seems Patrick cannot handle losses. I hypothesized that Patrick would later on get used to so much loss and grief in his life that he would eventually feel indifferent towards it, but as he lives life with more losses, I think it gets harder because of stronger attachment. For example, when Clara left, it was devastating for Patrick; however, Alice Gull came along and helped him eventually escape from his grief for Clara which was hard. Therefore, when Patrick lost Alice, it was even harder because Alice was the one who helped him get rid of his pains. If I were Patrick, it would feel as if there was no one left to help me out of my grief for Alice now.

Patrick’s inability to cope with the grief of Clara caused him to be utterly destroyed as evident from the smell and condition of his room: “the room smells like a clean butcher shop.” His reminiscence of memories with Clara show that he is unable to let Clara go: “Pieces of Clara float around him.” Due to this, maybe Clara left him once again after seeing him when Ambrose almost killed him. Then his inability to cope with Alice’s death led to his firing of the Muskoka Hotel. The burning of his sleeve and his imprisonment symbolizes his disaster. In these portrayals of downfall, Ondaatje uses lots of repetition of emptiness, lost, and blindness. Even in the midst of grief, one must learn to cope with it or search of hope, or otherwise it will lead to disaster.

In the Skin of a Lion Question #2

#2)
I identify definitely the most with Patrick Lewis. I feel like I can so understand Patrick and his actions.

Even when Patrick came to Toronto for the first time, I felt like I was in his position. When he felt like it was a new world, I felt like I was looking back at my childhood. His emotions of feeling lost, empty, needing hope and identity was exactly how I felt in Sweden. I was only 7 years old when I first went to Sweden. I knew nothing about this foreign country. No language, no culture, no identity existed inside me. I felt like I wanted everyone to stop talking because I could not understand anything. I was so lost that I wondered as I grew up in Sweden about my identity. The honest expression of how I felt was that I felt like a monkey with black hair, in a zoo. I felt so intimidated by the foreigners and I felt anger and grief at the same time. Just like Patrick had that inner grief that made him lose his identity but also find it, I too showed lots of anger. Even though I did not blow up anything with dynamite, I had the same sort of firing anger resulting from the grief of being so embarrassed and different. In my situation, this difference was between Asians, and Europeans, while for Patrick it was the immigrants (poor) versus the Rich.

I haven’t experienced losses of a “husband,” but I have lost many friendships due to my unstable life. Having moved schools so many times, I always had to make new friends, and become separated from old ones. My grief may not have been as strong as Patrick’s but I feel that it was similar in that both were continuous losses throughout our lives.

I think that pathos definitely is an element of my response to this character. In the novel, the part where Clara leaves Patrick and comes back after Patrick was almost murdered by Ambrose, and when she leaves him again, I felt so much sympathy for Patrick. The fact that he was abandoned twice and Ondaatje’s description of how Patrick was made me feel so bad: “After Clara leaves him, Patrick cleans his room on Queen Street obsessively. Soap crystals fizz in a pail, the mop slices the week’s dust. Then he sits in the only dry corner where he has previously placed cigarettes and smokes the Roxy, dropping ash into the bucket beside him.” This is not the way someone copes with grief. I felt that Patrick was so destroyed due to his grief that there is so much pathos present. Even his violent attempts to blow up the Waterworks to me seemed as a struggle to get rid of his pain and grief. To me even the last scene where he talked on the phone with Clara, I felt the pain, it seemed like her phone call could have caused him to feel grief once more.

In the Skin of a Lion Question #1

#1)
The passage I found most beautiful in this novel is in the rising action of the novel. This is when Patrick Lewis arrived in the city of Toronto. To me this passage was just beautiful because it was so full of rich imagery. The setting in this passage is the Union Station in Toronto. I think that the descriptions of this setting impacted my emotions. As I was reading this passage, the fact that this train station was described as a “palace, its niches and caverns, an intimate city.” It was described as a palace which made me want to be in this position. The setting being in a train station overall impacted my decision to choose this passage because all the imagery combined with the setting wanted me to escape my reality and travel, or journey to a place so beautiful and peaceful, where I can just sit and reminisce. Even though Patrick is now in the city, he ponders back to the time when he was at the small village of Bellrock; his childhood. Michael Ondaatje uses this setting to evoke our sense of nostalgia. The description does not really portray this nostalgia, but in a way all the detailed description was so personal. “The mosquitoes” and “black underwater color of creek” was just like how I remember my childhood in Sweden. To others this might not have stood out as a passage they liked. However, for me, the details such as putting “the smallest pellet of raspberry onto your tongue and [opening] it delicately with your teeth” was such a minor, but a precious memory. To me, even though this setting is a hot summer on a field, while reading this, I could not feel the sun that strong, but could feel a slight breeze for some reason. This soothing feeling could have come from the diction Ondaatje uses such as “smooth pink marble,” “palace,” and “angels.”

“The tides of movement.” This emphasis on movement, or change was poetically introduced. There was some beautiful personification with his name: “he spoke out his name and it struggled up in a hollow echo and was lost in the high air of Union Station.” This was so pleasing to read as Ondaatje wrote in such a poetic way of hinting at the loss of Patrick’s identity.